Thursday, July 19, 2012

Why Being a Banana can be Tiresome

Many times in my life I find myself being a banana, which has its benefits; it's an excellent conversation starter, you can easily hide booze in a banana costume, you get invited to more interesting parties.

But of course to all good things there is a foil and the downside to being elongated yellow fruit is to deal with the same 6 jokes, constantly. I'm not even sure that some should be defined as jokes or just lazy reference to internet humor. Spend one day as a banana and count how many times a stranger will come up to you singing 

"Ring, ring, ring, banana phone." 

And swear every time someone walks near me saying woo hoo HOO hoo HOO

A worse part is that they all think they're the first person to do this. The worst part is when they ask me to sing along. Maybe I'm having a smoke or I'm on my mobile, doesn't matter. They will come up asking for something.

Maybe I just want to eat cereal and not deal with your shit
I've had the songs Banana Phone, Peanut Butter Jelly Time, Chiquita Banana, and my personal favorite Day-O all sung to my by complete strangers like plantain pattern songs and fruit-centric serenades.

Sadly, no one does the dance

Oddly, no one ever chooses the Jack Johnson song Banana Pancakes.

One of the worst experience was a teenage girl insisting, while I was on the phone, that I sing Peanut Butter Jelly Time. Giving her the universal signal for 'fokk off, I'm on the phone' didn't work. I tried a simple "no" but the girl was relentless.

It's not just teens though, something about a man in polyester yellow makes people disregard social customs and people my parents age will allow their etiquette to slip into something so poor its only found on the internet.

Sometimes I just wanna chill
Comments and questions are fine, they are to be expected but joke-wise, my god if it's not the same 4 internet references its some poorly created innuendo. You're not hilarious for realizing that a banana is a phallic shape.

Only in Montreal did no one make the same comments, they simple laughed and proceeding on their French-Canadian lives.

Me and King Gansta' Bear/le Roi Gangst'our

I'm not complaining about my life as a banana, but I challenge you to do the same (not during Halloween) and we can commiserate.

1 comment:

  1. I love you! (and miss you) Be brave my dear banana one day your message will spread to the masses and you will be free of the banana memes! You will be free to live your life as a large yellow banana!