Many times in my life I find myself being a banana, which has its benefits; it's an excellent conversation starter, you can easily hide booze in a banana costume, you get invited to more interesting parties.
I'm not complaining about my life as a banana, but I challenge you to do the same (not during Halloween) and we can commiserate.
But of course to all good things there is a foil and the downside to being elongated yellow fruit is to deal with the same 6 jokes, constantly. I'm not even sure that some should be defined as jokes or just lazy reference to internet humor. Spend one day as a banana and count how many times a stranger will come up to you singing
"Ring, ring, ring, banana phone."
And swear every time someone walks near me saying woo hoo HOO hoo HOO
A worse part is that they all think they're the first person to do this. The worst part is when they ask me to sing along. Maybe I'm having a smoke or I'm on my mobile, doesn't matter. They will come up asking for something.
|Maybe I just want to eat cereal and not deal with your shit|
I've had the songs Banana Phone, Peanut Butter Jelly Time, Chiquita Banana, and my personal favorite Day-O all sung to my by complete strangers like plantain pattern songs and fruit-centric serenades.
Sadly, no one does the dance
Oddly, no one ever chooses the Jack Johnson song Banana Pancakes.
One of the worst experience was a teenage girl insisting, while I was on the phone, that I sing Peanut Butter Jelly Time. Giving her the universal signal for 'fokk off, I'm on the phone' didn't work. I tried a simple "no" but the girl was relentless.
It's not just teens though, something about a man in polyester yellow makes people disregard social customs and people my parents age will allow their etiquette to slip into something so poor its only found on the internet.
|Sometimes I just wanna chill|
Comments and questions are fine, they are to be expected but joke-wise, my god if it's not the same 4 internet references its some poorly created innuendo. You're not hilarious for realizing that a banana is a phallic shape.
Only in Montreal did no one make the same comments, they simple laughed and proceeding on their French-Canadian lives.
|Me and King Gansta' Bear/le Roi Gangst'our|